


The Demons Within

by Silver_Moon_Lit_Forest



Series: The Demons We Live With [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Headaches & Migraines, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Alchoholism, Mentions of self-harm, Sick Tony, Worrying the whole team like a boss, light sensitivity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-22
Updated: 2013-10-22
Packaged: 2017-12-30 02:26:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1012945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silver_Moon_Lit_Forest/pseuds/Silver_Moon_Lit_Forest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone has things they hide, even from their loved ones. Clint has his secrets, but so does Tony. One of which Clint really thinks he should have been notified of, since Tony gives him quite the scare.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Demons Within

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this ended up with way more plot than I had originally intended and than the OP probably wanted. Another fill for the kink meme. It's going to be a series instead of a chapter story. At this point in the plot, Bruce and Steve have managed to settle most of their issues but it didn't start out like that believe me. I'll be addressing Tony's side of the relationship in the next fic and some of what they're still working out between them. Then I'll do the whole Bruce/Steve side of it. But yes, there will def be more to this. Just be patient with me. On another note, I'm horrible at titles and this is unbetaed, something else I'm complete rubbish at. 
> 
> *Update* Thanks to a couple of very nice readers who pointed out how many mistakes were in this, I've gone through and tried to find as many of them as I could. Thank you, dear readers, for pointing it out! I'm horrible at rereading my own stuff without a lot of pushing. If there are anymore mistakes, please tell me! <3
> 
> Prompt: Any and Tony have to walk down a corridor or go up an elevator (or anything that involves staying upright amid bright lights), and Tony hides his face against Any's shoulder for the duration.  
> (Would prefer if the reason is that he's feverish or has a migraine and simply can't take the lights)  
> Bonus: somebody thinks he's hungover and Any corrects them  
> Bonus: (even if gen) at some point Any can't resist kissing him lightly on the hair
> 
> To prompt on meme: http://avengerkink.livejournal.com/17385.html?thread=38137577#t38137577

Clint closed to door to Fury’s office with a huff. His personal debriefing with their director had taken nearly twice as long as the team debriefing had. Add that time to the time they had spent out in the middle of the Nevada desert and the team had just spent the entirety of an afternoon dealing with enemies and Fury. Usually, everyone just went home to the tower after a battle but since they had picked up a prisoner- whom was now being questioned by Hill- a stop by the Helicarrier was required.

Clint had been the only one called in for a personal debriefing. He chalked it up to how reckless he'd been during recent battles and missions. They hadn't had a chance to get on him about it since he didn't actually physically turn in his mission reports. But the team had been on him for it, so Clint felt it was well made up for. Except none of them knew why he had been so reckless, not even Natasha. There were just certain parts of himself Clint wasn't comfortable discussing, like his coping mechanism and the fact that it generally had to do with self-harm.

Clint had learned long ago that self-harm didn't go over well with people. He'd learned to hide the wounds and play off the scars. It wasn't difficult once he'd learned. It was easy, really. His kind of job came with injuries; so when he showed up in medical or the training gym with fresh scar tissue, no one really asked.

But Coulson seemed to have him figured out and in turn, that meant Fury was aware of the situation. Clint might not like this fact but a fact it remained. So he dealt with it and made sure they both knew his feelings on the team knowing.

He shoved his hands into his pockets and moved down the hall. He knew Tony would be lurking around somewhere. His suit had suffered immense damage in the battle and had been rendered un flyable. It was currently sitting in the hull of the team’s quinjet down in the hanger. It was their only way back to the tower, but even if he’d had the suit, Tony would have been about anyways.

For reasons Clint wasn't privy to, Tony always waited on him when they were on the Helicarrier. He'd been prone to it before, but once they had started dating, Tony stuck just that little bit closer. At first, Clint had figured it was some hidden romantic inclination Tony never spoke of, but that wasn't quite it.

Tony was protective of the whole team, but even more so of Clint. They’d been fast friends from the beginning; both enjoyed pranking each other as well as the other Avengers, they happily had snark fests and even enjoyed some of the same sports. The way they’d actually ended up dating happened when Steve pointed out that they were going on dates already and should honestly just get it over with. They were both too stubborn to just fall easily into bed together and it had taken a lot of dancing around feelings, pasts, and stepping on each others toes before they figured it out. Well, kind of figured it out because there were still things they were learning about each other, things they still weren’t comfortable sharing with each other just yet.  

He rounded a corner and found Natasha standing against a wall, taking with one of the agents. He smiled and waved. The gesture caught her attention and she dismissed the conversation, nodding to the agent and turning to Clint. The agent nodded back in response and was off before Clint had even opened his mouth.

“Something you wanna tell me about, ‘Tasha?” Clint teased as he raised an eyebrow at her. The look she gave him in return was very unamused.

“Fury go hard on you?” Natasha asked and Clint could see a knowing look in her eyes that he wasn’t ready to acknowledge yet. He didn’t want anyone to know about that part of his life, didn’t want to be judged by the people he held close.

“Nah, it wasn’t too bad,” he answered, rubbing at the back of his head to hide the fact that there was a nervous tremor in his hands. Natasha wasn’t blind, though, and Clint was sure she had caught it before he could hide it. He also knew she wasn’t going to bring up something like that. If Clint wanted to talk to her about it, it was his choice of when, even if she had him figured out on her own.

“Have you seen, Tony?” Clint asked before she could question him further. She gave him a look but answered without comment.

“He’s in the empty conference room three doors down from where we were debriefed. On the left.” Concise and to the point, just what he’d expected of Natasha. He thanked her and told her they would be heading to the quinjet. He wanted nothing more than to get home and get out of his sweaty tac suit.

He found Tony curled up on one of the small love seats in the conference room. The lights were off and the light Clint let in when he opened the door made Tony flinch and curse. Clint frowned and shut the door softly behind him, cutting off the small source of light the open door provided. Tony’s sigh of relief was audible.

Clint paused for a few seconds to let his eyes adjust to the dimness of the room. The only source of light was the glow of the arc reactor through the tee shirt Tony had changed into once he’d gotten onto the jet. He made his way over to the couch and Tony rolled over to blink up at him when Clint stopped in front of him.

Tony’s face was lined with pain and he only slitted his eyes enough to see who was in the room with him. As soon as he saw it was Clint, Tony closed his eyes again and threw an arm across his face. There was bruising across his forearm and scrapes along the side of his face from their battle earlier.

“Were you injured?” Clint asked and Tony flinched at the loudness of his voice in the silence of the room. Tony shook his head and sighed.

“Just a migraine.” Clint thought about saying sitting in the dark and flinching away from light sources and noise wasn’t ‘just’ a migraine but he kept his mouth shut about Tony’s way of wording things.

“Fury’s done tearing me a new one,” Clint whispered, just loud enough for Tony to hear him. “We’re heading back to the Tower. Can you walk?”

Tony grumbled and manouvered himself into a sitting position. He blinked up at Clint in the dimness of the room and then said, “I don’t think I can. Help?”

Clint frowned. It was a rare thing to hear Tony ask for help. He was a proud man and Clint understood that; he was a proud man himself. He reached down and grabbed Tony’s proffered hand.

It took some maneuvering to get Tony standing. Tony swayed side ways as soon as he got his feet under him and Clint wrapped Tony’s arm around his shoulder to keep him from falling over. Tony grunted and then sighed as he sagged against Clint’s shorter body.

He rested his head against Clint’s shoulder and turned his face against Clint’s neck. Hot breath ghosted over Clint’s skin and he couldn’t stop the shudder that ran down his spine. Clint’s fingers tightened around Tony’s waist so he could pull him closer. He could feel the heat of Tony’s body through their clothes. Tony was obviously sicker than he was letting on.

“You’re fucking burning up,” Clint exclaimed and Tony winced against him.

“You’ve got such a lovely mouth there,” Tony muttered in response. Clint didn’t bother with a answer. He’d only ever seen Tony with a headache a time or two and they had been nothing like what this seemed to be.

“Come on, tin can. We need to get you in bed before you set HQ on fire.” Tony chuckled softly in response but moved along with Clint as they headed for the door.

“Gotta keep ‘em on there toes,” Tony slurred against Clint’s neck and Clint really wished he wasn’t so sensitive there. Walking with Tony hanging off of him was awkward enough. Walking with a boner would make it ten times worse. He shoved down his labido, thinking about how hot and feverish Tony’s skin was against his own and how he need to get Tony back to the tower as quickly as he could.

“Watch your eyes,” Clint said in warning before he opened the door. Clint squinted his eyes against the sudden brightness of the hallway until they adjusted. Tony, on the other hand, whimpered and pressed his face even closer against Clint’s neck, eyes squeezed shut. The position made it awkward to walk at all but they managed to stumble their way out of the conference room.

Tony reached up and grabbed at the shoulder of Clint’s shirt with his free hand. He muttered to himself as they moved in a combination of French and Italian. Clint could only pick out a few words here and there but if Tony was muttering in combinations of languages, it meant he was worse than Clint had originally thought.

He’d only heard Tony combine languages seven times; three times had been after really filthy sweaty sex, once when Tony had been enraged by something Fury had said to him after a debriefing and three times when he’d been injured bad enough to have to stay in medical.

They were a ways away from the bank of elevators that would take them to the hanger and from there it was another three thousand feet to the jet. Clint wasn’t sure how far Tony would be able to make it, but Clint would get him as far as he was capable. Tony’s muttering continued as they made their way down the hall. His fingers dug into the skin of Clint’s arm as Tony clung to him.

Clint had never seen Tony relay on any one as much as he was currently relying on Clint. It dredged up an emotion in Clint he didn’t know he was still capable of. No one had ever relied on him so much and he was honoured that Tony trusted him enough to let Clint haul him through the Helicarrier like he was a bag of potatoes. He’d known there was a lot of emotion between them, but Clint hadn’t been aware that his feelings for Tony had ran as deep as they apparently did..

It surprised and scared him. He’d never expected to have a long lasting relationship with anyone when he joined S.H.I.E.L.D., let alone with a superhero. Tony would deny that he was a hero of any kind, but Clint had seen him in battle, had seen him risk his life time and time again for his friends and strangers. Even if Tony didn’t see it in himself, Clint sure did.

His arm tightened around Tony’s waist as he stumbled and nearly lost his footing. The movement startled Clint out of his own mind; he’d have to analyze his newly realized feelings when Tony was in a bed and medicated.

They were just coming up to the elevators when Thor and Steve rounded the corner. Thor greeted them in his general loud manner and Tony groaned in pain against Clint’s shoulder.

“Could you keep it down?” Clint asked a little harshly. Tony’s fingers tightened around his shirt in response. Thor actually blushed and apologized in the quietest voice Clint had ever heard him use. Steve looked them over and raised an eyebrow as the reached the bank of elevators.

“Hung over already, Stark?” Steve asked and Clint knew he was only teasing but Tony still didn’t have the best relationship with Steve. Sometimes the teasing that occurred between them was a little harsher than it would be between friends.

Everyone was well aware of Tony’s drinking problem before his palladium poisoning and New York. Tony had been doing better but there had been more than a few occasions -eight that Clint knew of- where he or Bruce had came up to the communal kitchen to find Tony working his way through the the available vodka and Tequila. Those eight times didn’t include the times Tony had stuck to his lab or personal level of the tower while he drank himself into oblivion.

These occurrences had lead Bruce, Clint and even Steve to actively monitor the amount of alcohol in the tower and they had even coerced JARVIS into tell them when anyone brought more into the tower, including when Tony did it. There had been quite a few screaming matches about missing beverages over the first few months and a lot of name calling had been thrown around.

There were still times when Clint would come home from a long mission to find Tony drinking his way through the bottles he could scrounge up, but they were making progress. It was progress they were all proud of. Clint only wished he could make the same kind of progress with his own demons.

“It’s a migraine, Steve.” And if Clint’s tone was little harsher than it usually was and if he was glaring daggers at Captain America, Clint really didn’t care. Tony muttered something unintelligible in Spanish against his neck that sounded a lot like no fighting but Clint couldn’t be sure.

“Sorry.” Steve sounded sincere but Clint wasn’t in the mood to deal with Steve’s current issues with Tony. He’d agreed with Bruce that it wasn’t their business and that Tony and Steve needed to work out their issues on their own. They would interfere if it came to blows, which it had before, but that was as far as they would go unless expressly asked.

They chatted quietly between each other as they waited on the elevator. Tony interjected a few times in Latin, unable to keep his mouth shut even when he was in pain. Bruce was sleeping off the effects of Hulking out on the quinjet. He’d fallen asleep against Steve before they had even taken off.

The shuffle on the elevator was a little awkward but Thor held the door open button so Clint could maneuver  them through the door. They leaned against the back of the elevator, Tony leaning completely against Clint, front to front with his face still pressed firmly against Clint’s neck. Tony’s skin felt hotter with each passing second and Clint’s worry grew. Tony was sweating through his shirt and there was a handprint on the fabric where Clint had him by the waist. Tony’s hair stuck to Clint’s chin and neck as he turned his head to look at him.

What Clint could see of Tony’s face was flushed and his lips chapped. His breathing was shallow and Clint’s stomach clenched in worry. He tightened his grip on Tony’s waist despite the heat of his skin. Ignoring the other two people in the elevator with them, Clint leaned over and pressed his lips against Tony’s temple in a soft kiss. His lips came away salty with Tony’s sweat but the soft sigh the action got out off Tony was worth it.

By the time they made it to the hanger, Steve and Thor were just as worried for Tony’s health as Clint was. With their help, Clint managed to get Tony into the jet, where Natasha was waiting in the pilot's seat and Bruce was sitting beside her. They’d been in the carrier for over three hours and plenty of time had passed for Bruce to sleep off his post Hulk weariness.

“A little help, doc?” Clint asked as they stumbled onto the jet, Tony a near dead weight against his and Steve’s sides. Bruce was out of his seat in an instant, the loose fitting shirt and pants they’d brought along to replace his lost clothing fluttered around his body with the movement. Clint was of the belief that Bruce just couldn’t gain and keep weight on. He’d seen the man eat his way through fifty dollars of take out in one sitting but he just didn’t seem to gain a pound. Granted, Bruce looked less gaunt than he had when he’d arrived at the tower, but he didn’t look like he’d gained an ounce.

“What happened?” Bruce asked, voice laden with concern as he pressed his hand against Tony’s forehead. He had to work his hand between the skin of Clint’s neck and Tony’s head to do it. Tony had refused to release his hold on Clint even when Steve had taken most of his weight.

“It’s a migraine,” Clint supplied. Bruce grunted in answer and directed them to the bench where he’d slept of the post battle weariness. It had been made into a small bed of sorts after the first battle they’d had to take the quinjet for. A metal grated bench wasn’t good on the back it seemed.

Even as they manouvered Tony onto the makeshift bed, he refused to release his hold on Clint’s tac suit. Clint wiggled Tony’s fingers free but laced their fingers together as Tony protested in jarbulled languages no one could identify at this point.

Clint settled himself down at Tony’s head, his arm wrapped around Tony’s back so their hands laid over the arch reactor. They covered Tony’s eyes with a piece of black cloth, properly blocking out the lights. Tony had thrown up as soon as he was stretched out on the bench and scrambled with one hand to cover his eyes again.

The trip back to the tower felt longer than what it really was to Clint. Bruce gave Tony some kind of pain medication and a sleeping pill. It put Tony out like a light. Bruce assured Clint that he’d be fine, that Tony’s form of migraines were a step above what Clint was used to seeing but it was actually normal for him. That fact wasn’t all that reassuring, but Clint was glad to know that Tony wasn’t poisoned or suffering from something else.

When they finally got back to the tower, Clint was in the middle of contemplating how easily he could carry Tony to bed- Clint knew he was strong enough, but Tony was a couple of inches taller than him and the awkwardness of carrying him worried Clint- when Steve leaned over and scooped Tony into his arms like he weighed nothing. To Steve he probably didn’t.

Tony’s hand was lax with sleep, but Clint scrambled to grab it once again. He ignored the look Natasha shot his way. He wasn’t ready to discuss any of what he was feeling with himself or Tony let alone anyone else. But if there was anyone he could go to and trust completely in their answers, it was Natasha.

“I could have gotten him,” Clint told Steve, tone bordering on sulking but Steve only smiled.

“I know you could have, but as strained as my relationship with Tony is, I don’t want anything to happen to him and worry about him more than you probably believe.” Clint was a little surprised at the admission but he did know it to be true on some level.

“I know, Steve,” he replied softly as they made their way to Tony’s level of the tower. “I’m just worried.”

“We all are. He hides behind that cocky attitude of his and I think Bruce is the only person he didn’t just scare the shit out of,” Steve answered and there was a soft note to his voice.

“Natasha won’t admit it.” Clint chuckled at the thought, but he was sure it was still true. As much tension had been between Tony and her when the team had first been formed, but when Clint had started hanging out with Tony, she’d came around.

They finished the small walk from the elevator to Tony’s bedroom in silence. Steve was gentle as he laid Tony in the middle of his large bed and Clint nodded in thanks.

“He’s important to all of us, Clint. Believe it or not. Take care of him.” Clint didn’t have a response for him as Steve left the room, shutting the door softly behind him. Clint stripped out of his suit and undressed Tony before crawling into bed with beside him. Tony had rolled onto his side, face furrowed with wrinkles as he slept.

“JARVIS, can you keep an eye on Tony’s viatles and tell me when he’s close to waking up?” Clint asked as he brushed sweaty bangs away from Tony’s eyes.

“Of course Agent Barton,” JARVIS answered softly. No matter what happened, JARVIS always seemed to know what was going on with his creator. Clint smiled at the thought. They were more of a family than he would have thought; that was obvious to him now. But there were still secrets they kept from each other, things they hide down deep inside. They all had their demons and as Clint rubbed his thumb over Tony’s wrist- the very spot where Clint had a multitude of scars that Tony had never questioned- Clint wondered when all those demons were going to rear up and tear apart the little family they had some how managed to make.


End file.
